"Mike, I Think he Just Peed his Pants!"
Before I get to the main subject, I just want to send out a gigantic Domo Arigatou (Thank You) to Mike's parents for a fantastic 3 weeks of adventures. We really did have a fun time with y'all! We were able to see so many new things and experience some great family time.
OK, now on to my story. Since, we had the grandparents here for 3 weeks, we had built in babysitters! We decided to take advantage of some quality time for just Mike and me. We finally got to see Tokyo at night, which was pretty amazing. We stopped at the Ginza district and even though it was around 8-9:00PM, we witnessed "private shoppers", shopping at some of the more exclusive retail establishments. Mercedes and other luxury cars were parked outside with chauffeurs standing at attention, while jewelry and clothing stores opened up to their more special $$ clientel for a private shopping experience. We decided to eat at the Boheme Italian restaurant; a great restaurant located at basement level. We ordered a bottle of red wine, devoured two teriffic pasta dishes, and shared an amazing chocolate cake for dessert. After a filling meal and a good bottle of wine, we were feeling pretty good and ready to make a quick stop in Roppongi before taking the 2 hour train trip home. We had an opportunity to stop at a quant little pub for a beer. It felt like a little taste of home! It was in the style of a British or Irish pub with dark wooden booths and gold accents. Soccer was playing on Satellite TV and dark beer was on tap! The night went by quickly and before we knew it, it was time to get back home. (Because the trains shut down by about 1:00AM, we had to make sure we were on board no later than 11:00PM)
As we boarded the Express train back to Yokosuka, I noticed a man standing near the door sweating profusely. Seeing that there were empty seats, I thought...."weird, I'm so not standing close to him." Needless to say, however, he caught my attention and I kept cautiously stealing peaks at him until I noticed a huge wet spot in between the legs of his pants. At first, I reasoned that it was sweat. But the spot just kept on spreading and spreading until finally, I turned to Mike and wispered, "Mike, I think he just peed his pants!" Mike looked behind, grew wide eyed and red with a huge grin spread across his face. Trying to hold our laughter, some very proper Japanese women looked up at us in confusion. After a period of seconds, they figured out what the gaijin thought was so amusing. One of the ladies fanned herself to hold in her silent giggles. They both immediatly tried to talk about something to get them off the subject. However, every minute or so, one woman would get a wave of the giggles and have to fan herself again. As we rode along, the wet spot slowly spread down his pants and trickled down onto the floor, which would be funny enough except he kept shuffling his feet causing a "squeek" sound whenever his sneakers moved. At one point, pee boy decided he had enough of standing (or squeeking), and he decided to sit down at one of the open seats on the train. As he approached the open seat, the guy sitting next to the seat took notice of pee boy's situation. As pee boy began to sit, the neighboring man popped out of his seat like his pants were wet! (or on fire) which caused Mike and me to both blow out steam. The man glanced over at Mike and put his finger to his nose pantamiming him to "SHHH!". In typical Japanese fashion, no one wanted to outwardly acknowledge the big white/wet elephant in the room. This continued for the duration of the ride. When the group of men got off at Yokosuka-Chuo, they exploded in fits of laughter.
Some poor school girl, obviously exausted, decided to sit in the seat beside pee boy. We all felt sorry for her because she didn't notice the drenched pants next to her. By now pee boy was passed out. As we got off at our stop, Mike was about to tell the school girl about pee boy but just when he was about to tap on her shoulder, pee boy stirred and we ran off the train. Fearful. As soon as the doors shut and the train departed from our station, we too exploded in fits of laughter.
Our lesson of the night: We will never sit in the seat closest to the driver on a train EVER again. We'll never know which train/seat was the pee boy train/seat!
OK, now on to my story. Since, we had the grandparents here for 3 weeks, we had built in babysitters! We decided to take advantage of some quality time for just Mike and me. We finally got to see Tokyo at night, which was pretty amazing. We stopped at the Ginza district and even though it was around 8-9:00PM, we witnessed "private shoppers", shopping at some of the more exclusive retail establishments. Mercedes and other luxury cars were parked outside with chauffeurs standing at attention, while jewelry and clothing stores opened up to their more special $$ clientel for a private shopping experience. We decided to eat at the Boheme Italian restaurant; a great restaurant located at basement level. We ordered a bottle of red wine, devoured two teriffic pasta dishes, and shared an amazing chocolate cake for dessert. After a filling meal and a good bottle of wine, we were feeling pretty good and ready to make a quick stop in Roppongi before taking the 2 hour train trip home. We had an opportunity to stop at a quant little pub for a beer. It felt like a little taste of home! It was in the style of a British or Irish pub with dark wooden booths and gold accents. Soccer was playing on Satellite TV and dark beer was on tap! The night went by quickly and before we knew it, it was time to get back home. (Because the trains shut down by about 1:00AM, we had to make sure we were on board no later than 11:00PM)
As we boarded the Express train back to Yokosuka, I noticed a man standing near the door sweating profusely. Seeing that there were empty seats, I thought...."weird, I'm so not standing close to him." Needless to say, however, he caught my attention and I kept cautiously stealing peaks at him until I noticed a huge wet spot in between the legs of his pants. At first, I reasoned that it was sweat. But the spot just kept on spreading and spreading until finally, I turned to Mike and wispered, "Mike, I think he just peed his pants!" Mike looked behind, grew wide eyed and red with a huge grin spread across his face. Trying to hold our laughter, some very proper Japanese women looked up at us in confusion. After a period of seconds, they figured out what the gaijin thought was so amusing. One of the ladies fanned herself to hold in her silent giggles. They both immediatly tried to talk about something to get them off the subject. However, every minute or so, one woman would get a wave of the giggles and have to fan herself again. As we rode along, the wet spot slowly spread down his pants and trickled down onto the floor, which would be funny enough except he kept shuffling his feet causing a "squeek" sound whenever his sneakers moved. At one point, pee boy decided he had enough of standing (or squeeking), and he decided to sit down at one of the open seats on the train. As he approached the open seat, the guy sitting next to the seat took notice of pee boy's situation. As pee boy began to sit, the neighboring man popped out of his seat like his pants were wet! (or on fire) which caused Mike and me to both blow out steam. The man glanced over at Mike and put his finger to his nose pantamiming him to "SHHH!". In typical Japanese fashion, no one wanted to outwardly acknowledge the big white/wet elephant in the room. This continued for the duration of the ride. When the group of men got off at Yokosuka-Chuo, they exploded in fits of laughter.
Some poor school girl, obviously exausted, decided to sit in the seat beside pee boy. We all felt sorry for her because she didn't notice the drenched pants next to her. By now pee boy was passed out. As we got off at our stop, Mike was about to tell the school girl about pee boy but just when he was about to tap on her shoulder, pee boy stirred and we ran off the train. Fearful. As soon as the doors shut and the train departed from our station, we too exploded in fits of laughter.
Our lesson of the night: We will never sit in the seat closest to the driver on a train EVER again. We'll never know which train/seat was the pee boy train/seat!
posted by Unknown | 7:35 AM
11 Comments:
That is SO funny. Poor guy. Did he actually pass out on the train? Was he drunk? So different than people would have handled that here!
I guess you had to be there, but it sounds a bit mean.
Yes, the guy was drunk. He had to have been because he wasn't disabled in any other sense. We were on our way out of Roppongi. Roppongi is party central in Tokyo. We had stops at stations every 10 minutes or so. We were on an express train which only stops at major stations which have bathrooms close by. We actually passed 2 before he wet himself. The only reason I could think of as to why he didn't get off the train at one of the stations and relieve himself was he was to worried about maybe missing the last train of the evening.
Ga -
Mean, probably. Funny to witness, definitely. Pee boy was old enough to know his own drinking limits, but he allowed himself get drunk enough to relieve himself on a train.
Laughter is an involuntary reflex to something funny, so all of us witnesses couldn't help but laugh. I've done some stupid things after having one too many, and am sure that people have had a laugh or two at my expense along the way. It's all part of living and learning.
-Mike
Oh my gosh- what a story!! That's one of those priceless stories that you will always remember! It sounds hilarious!! I almost wet my pants reading it!
I kinda feel sorry for the guy, but sounds like he drank so much that maybe he'll get lucky and won't remember his embarrasing moment! LOL
Oh gosh, I just got the giggles from this post!
Yeah, I'm in the "not mean" camp definitely on this one. Why we laugh is definitely different for most folks, but usually it's a stress release to understand our completely human absurdities. And it was truly absurd (not to mention a little unsanitary) to witness someone doing something that isn't NORMALLY done on a train, especially someone who would typically be in control of his faculties except for the fact that he chose to tipple a bit too much Chu Hai.
I've noticed local folks on the train wanting desperately to react to absurd situations but me, being the outlandish American, actually smiles and giggles if I deem it appropriate. I actually think when I do my Japanese train-mates are relieved that somebody cut the social ice.
Believe me, I've seen locals do worse on trains to sleeping and/or drunk passengers....a little involuntary giggle probably felt good. And CONGRATS on getting out on the town, you two adventurers!
Thanks Aime and Rey,
It was fun being able to take Nicki out on the town for once. We really want to try to get out on our own at least once a month now. We're starting the search for babysitting resources around here, so if you hear anything that seems reliable and safe, keep us posted!
-Mike
Great story!
OMG!
Thank you Japan Years crew! This made my day.
Today was a high-stress day-I was so serious, it was scary! I really needed an excuse to roll on the floor and let loose with a good laugh! (My wife is happy to see me smiling again tonight!)
Laughter is the best medicine--even across different cultures. I think you found the "glue" that helps bind us all together!
I'll be checking seats for the next week!
--Cheers!
Mike and Nicki,
Once my crowd and I get settled in (six people, five students and a wife) get settled in you two will have to come up for a visit. Hopefully between us we will have space for you to spend the night (if necessary and if Josh could handle it.)
I'm going to be almost between Ikebukuro and Shinjuku with two other people and the other three will be at Keio in Kouhoku-ku. (I'm not really sure where that is.)
The nearest subway stop to me is going to be Takadanobaba on either Seibu Shinjuku Line or JR Yamanote Line.
I wish I could leave tomorrow!
Claus: glad we could help brighten your day with our story. I read on your blog the other day about www.wefeelfine.org. Sounds like you might need a visit there to vent! :)
Jeff D: Sounds like your plans are coming together nicely. Great thing about our location is that Tokyo isn't so far, so if need be, we can always get to and from there in less than 2 hours - except during rush hour. Keep us posted about your plans and we'll definitely come up with a plan to get together. Shinjuku's a fun area, so you should be in good company up there.
Mike
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